Author: Jett
September 1, 2005
Officially and publicly, director Christopher Nolan has not signed on to helm the sequel to BATMAN BEGINS. While it is believed that Mr. Nolan will return, the fact remains that he has yet to sign the dotted line. As a result, message boards around the Net are abuzz with potential replacements for Nolan. Many of the names bandied about are the same ones mentioned by fans prior to Mr. Nolan getting the gig - Alex Proyas, David Fincher, and Frank Miller among others.
So what if Mr. Nolan doesn’t return? To whom will Warner Bros. turn to guide the franchise? You know that they are not going to go “back to the future” and bring in one of the two previous Bat-directors. Perhaps they will go with David Goyer who wrote the BATMAN BEGINS screenplay? But Goyer’s got too many other irons in the fire right now - like prepping THE FLASH for Warner - so he probably doesn’t have the time.
Therefore, I’m stepping up to the plate - I'm here today volunteering my services to Warner Bros. Yep, that’s right - I’m throwing my name into the hat to direct the sequel if Mr. Nolan does not return.
Bat-fans, there is no need to worry about a thing. I promise no nipples, neon, or black goo-spewing villains if WB hands me the gig. You have my word.
What qualifications do I have for this task you ask? Well, I’m a life-long Batman fan and I’ve run this website - BATMAN ON FILM - for over seven years now. I’ve been a football coach in Texas for seventeen years, as a result, I know a little bit about “directing” people. A coach has to motivate and guide, just like a director. And there are a lot of similarities between a coaching and helming a film. On a film, the director is sort of like the head coach, the cast is the team, and crew members are the assistant coaches. Hey, I’ve got more experience that I originally thought!
Other credentials? I’m a college graduate, though I didn’t attend film school. I’ve got a BS in Kinesiology, which is the study of the movement of the body. Actors move, right?
I’ll admit that I’ve never been behind a camera - unless you count filming my children with a minicam. Nonetheless, I’m not going to let minor “inconveniences” like these stand in my way.
I know what you are thinking, “Jett has lost his damn mind! He can’t be serious.” Oh yes I am my friend, and there is no need to be troubled. Hell, don’t you know that I’m a “big-time” Hollywood player now? You bet I am. Don’t forget that BOF got BATMAN BEGINS made and had a huge hand in getting Christian Bale the role of Batman. Clout and power are things I’m definitely not lacking. I’ll command that production and set like Bill Parcells on an NFL sideline.
Plus, I’ll just pick up a copy of “THE IDIOTS GUIDE TO DIRCTING SUPERHERO FILMS," buy a pair of baggy knickers, a beret, and I’ll be good to go!
Or maybe I should dress in all-black?
Now I’m not out to take anyone’s job here, let me make that clear. If Mr. Nolan wants to return, the gig is rightfully his. Hey, he's got a family to feed too. So please don’t be firing off any “Replace Nolan with Jett” emails to Warner Bros., ok? And I don’t want to see any online petitions pop up on the Net either. I’ll have no part of such tactics. Let me make this clear - I’m only going to accept this job if Mr. Nolan does not return. I am not - as we say in Texas - “politikin’” for someone else’s job. And Warner Bros., don’t even think about throwing mad cash my way! (Uh, scratch that last statement.)
A pretty persuasive pitch if I do say so myself. I’m confident all the fans believe that I’m the man for the job if needed. I’m also fairly certain that the guys at Warner Bros. will be adding me to their short-list of possible replacements after reading this article.
All of this is probably a moot point as Mr. Nolan is most likely to return. I’m simply trying to help out here if need be. I have a lot to offer with all my education, experience, and fantastic qualifications. And I care man!
Even though I probably won’t end up in the director’s chair, I'll still roll up my sleaves and help. I am willing to drop down a notch or two from the directing job and serve in another capacity - like the all-important role of set gofer.
Fans, Warner Bros., I’m here if you need me.
