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OPINION

"Dear Warner Bros...."

Posted by: Jett
Thursday, June 5, 2008

My Dear Warner Bros. Pictures,

A few years ago, I offered to step in and direct the sequel to BATMAN BEGINS just in case the great Chris Nolan declined to helm another Bat-Movie. Of course, y'all got Chris signed and he went on to direct THE DARK KNIGHT.

I suppose that sort of made my offer a moot point. (Get a load of this...There were people who really thought I was serious!) Anyway, let me cut to the chase here…

Are you having a hard time “On Filming” all those DC Comics characters you have access to? If so, I can definitely help y’all and I’m serious this time.

Sort of.

First of all, you got a damn good thing going right now with your Batman franchise, so don’t goof it up. Y’all did that once, so let’s not repeat history, OK? If so, I'll have to open up a can of BOF Texas whoop-ass again!

Superman...THE MAN OF STEEL!

Look, I liked SUPERMAN RETURNS so you won’t get any complaints from me. But I do understand why many fans were upset with it and their feelings are certainly valid.

Don’t panic, OK? You don’t need to do a “requel” like this THE INCREDIBLE HULK film, alright? Simply get a script that kicks up the action a bit. You know, one in which Superman actually hits someone (*cough* Brainiac *cough*).

I'd also suggest that you demand that the screenwriters inject a little more "Post-Crisis Superman" into THE MAN OF STEEL. Hey, Superman is Superman to me, but that's what I hear from the fans so I thought I'd pass it along.

And for goodness sake, DO NOT recast the title role. Hell, Brandon Routh was the best thing about SR.

Now I've got to tell y'all like it is here, sorry. But dammit, get this idea of a JUSTICE LEAGUE film out of your heads once and for all, please! In case you didn’t know -- and I’m sure you do since y'all shelved it -- NO ONE CARES ABOUT THIS FILM!

When your core fanbase couldn’t give a flip about this movie, you’ve got problems. Plus, all it’s going to do is screw up potential individual films for all those great DC Comics characters that you own. You did the right thing when you put that project into turnaround, trust me.

Oh yeah, one more thing on JL. What’s with this assertion that JL would serve as a “springboard” to solo films for some of DC’s B-list characters? *cough* BS! *cough* Did Iron Man need an AVENGERS film to launch him into his own movie?

Case closed.

(WB, if you want a superhero ensemble film, may I suggest The Outsiders -- sans The Batman of course. It‘s make for a perfect spring release ala V FOR VENDETTA, 300, and the upcoming WATCHMEN.)

Now if I were making the decisions over there in Burbank, I’d put two projects on the fast track: GREEN LANTERN and this SUPERMAX Green Arrow film. I promise, both of those have HUGE potential and the DC fanbase would absolutely love to see ‘em on the big screen.

Honestly, that Green Arrow flick has one of the freshest takes (“GA goes to prison“) I’ve come across in a long, long time. It sounds absolutely badass!

If you want a big-ass superhero/sci-fi/space opera, a GL flick is IT.

Wonder Woman.

Do y’all realize that this is the only character of DC’s “Big Three” never to have received the “On Film” treatment? That’s flat WRONG! I understand the concern over “tentpole films” with female leads, alright? But, uh, that World War II-era WONDER WOMAN script you bought was damn good. I'd LOVE for WONDER WOMAN to be a period piece. Also, that script solved your “female lead problem” by making Steve Trevor the kinda-sorta main character.

See, you could have been a leader here when it came doing a comic book superhero film as a period piece. Now it looks like that dadgum Marvel is going to beat y’all to the punch with CAPTAIN AMERICA.

C'est la vie I guess.

You want some films for the kids? OK, cool, I've got kids -- 3 to be exact. Here's my suggestions and I’ll let it ride: BILLY BATSON AND THE LEGEND OF SHAZAM and THE FLASH. ‘Nuff said.

A horror-ish/supernatural superhero flick? How about The Specture? Or better yet, Boston Brand, AKA Deadman? (That latter one I mentioned, it could be REALLY cool.)

Hey, I know the bottom line with y’all is $ and I have no problem with that. I also know that you’ve been burned in the past by some of the films of this kind -- BATMAN & ROBIN, CATWOMAN, and STEEL come to mind.

In spite of all that crap, let me give you all your saving grace(s): BATMAN BEGINS and THE DARK KNIGHT. And SUPERMAN RETURNS was a fine film despite its problems.

See, you hired a guy (Chris Nolan) and let him work his creative magic. THAT, to me, is the secret. Hire folks who understand and care about these characters and let them do their thing. Do that, and all the peripheral merchandising stuff will take care of itself.

One last thing my friends…

DON’T WORRY ABOUT MARVEL! Yes, IRON MAN was a hell of a movie, but most of their films suck and suck hard. It’s like they’ve been throwing crap on the wall just to see what sticks. Plus, they’re following y’all now! The only reason that there is this new HULK movie is because of BATMAN BEGINS.

“Requel.” Whatever.

It doesn’t matter if Marvel has put out some good comic book films, OK? In fact, when they actually make good films -- like IRON MAN, the Spidey’s, and the X-MEN flicks -- it’s good for everyone who puts out superhero movies.

(For the record, I'm looking forward to TIH and hope it's good.)

What I’m saying is be a leader in this genre, not a follower. Be proactive (i.e. BATMAN BEGINS), not reactive.

Anywho, I’m just trying to help out here. But what do I know? I’m only the guy that got BATMAN BEGINS made! ;)

(FYI: There are people that actually believe I’m serious about that too! Hehehehe!)

Sincerely Yours,

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