The
original CLASH OF THE TITANS
was released back in the Summer of 1981 when I was a 15 year old sophomore in high school. I know I saw it in the theater (I was a movie geek...I saw
everything back then), but it wasn’t something that had a huge impact on me.
In fact, I don’t think I’ve sat through the entire film since I saw it on the big screen some 30 years ago. I’ve caught bits and pieces of it on TV over the years, but that’s about it.
My whole point here is that I have no emotional attachment to this film. I am NOT a CLASH OF THE TITANS nerd in any way, shape, or form. (Now my buddy Tom was, so I took him to the screening -- and he liked it, FYI.)
Frankly, if they wanted to remake this thing -- especially with the technology available to filmmakers today -- that’s perfectly fine by me. While I did enjoy the original, I always thought its special effects (which employed stop-motion animation) were a bit cheesy and dated -- even for 1981.
So what about 2010’s new version of CLASH WITH THE TITANS? That’s what we’re here to discuss, right?
Well, it’s...alright.
The story pretty much follows that of the original. Perseus (Sam Worthington), the mortal son of Zeus (Liam Neeson), sets out on a mission to save the city of Argos from destruction at the hands of the gods. Why is the king of the gods and the rest of Mt. Olympus so pissed? Well, Man is tired as hell at the gods and they aren’t going to take it anymore!
Consequently, Man’s "thanks be to the gods" are not coming in at the rate they once were. You see, it's Man’s prayers that keep these deities immortal; and mankind ain’t meeting their quota!
Accompanied by a small group of soldiers led by Draco (Mads Mikkelsen) as well as his spiritual guide Io (Gemma Arterton), Perseus must deal with giant scorpions, witches, Medusa, and ultimately the most powerful and terrifying monster of them all, the Kraken.
Oh yeah, and he’s got to take on Hades (Ralph Fiennes), too. Perseus has a personal score to settle with the god of the underworld, who himself wants a little revenge against his brother Zeus.
Some dysfunctional family, huh?
CLASH OF THE TITANS is what it is: A special effects-heavy, popcorn, action flick aimed at those of the male persuasion.
I’m sure Warner Bros. hopes to bring in the 300 crowd with this one. However, COTT is not in the same league with that one when it comes to violence and blood. Furthermore, there’s no sex or nudity dammit! (I kid!) Heck, there's not even a love story -- girlfriends and wives, consider yourself warned.
Honestly, I’d have no problem bringing any of my kids -- ages 15, 13, and 8 -- to see it. That’s probably not good news to the aforementioned 300 crowd, who probably enjoyed the hardcore aspect of that film. But probably good news for the WB bean counters -- and anyone of my generation who wants to bring his kids to see it.
(And yes original COTT nerds, there is an homage to the original -- but I'm certainly not going to spoil it for y'all!)
One big FYI: I highly recommend skipping the 3D screening and seeing it in regular ‘ol 2D. Apparently, it was filmed to be 2D and then was converted to 3D after the fact. Frankly, it looked like crap. 3D movies are cool -- as long as they are planned to be 3D and produced in that format from the get go. Trust me, got the old fashioned 2D route on this one and save yourself a few bucks and the headache...literally. (I hope like hell that Warner Bros. doesn't "3D-up" BATMAN 3. Sheesh!)
Look, no one is going to win any awards for their performances, the SFX aren’t anything we haven’t already seen, and the story’s certainly not profound. Regardless, that doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy CLASH WITH THE TITANS as long as you know going in exactly what you’re going to get.
GRADE: C
CLASH OF THE TITANS hits theaters everywhere on April 2, 2010.
