BATMAN FOREVER
Author: Jett
Date: Originally Posted on May 31, 2008
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Full disclosure: I like BATMAN FOREVER.

Though "like" is a relative term.

Quite frankly, one of the main reasons I am somewhat fond of this film is because it wasn’t, well, BATMAN RETURNS.

While I walked out of the theater some 13 years ago thinking “Hell YEAH!,” a lot of that positive sentiment has dissipated over time.

With that said, I still have a soft spot in my heart for FOREVER and believe it to be a better "BATMAN Movie" than its 1992 predecessor. It can proably best be labeled as the biggest "missed opportunity" of the Burton/Schumacher Batman on film era.

 I’ve always loved the “suit-up” scene in FOREVER…until the “I’ll get drive-through” part. Stupid, yet it didn't (and still doesn't) bother me as it should.

 Two Face’s introduction is good. Too bad the rest of Mr. Jone’s performance didn’t follow suit.

 “Hot entrance.” Sheesh.

 For the first time in a Batman movie, a (somewhat) believable fight scene.

 I don’t mind the whole bank vault thing, but now Tommy Lee Jone’s Two Face is the cackling Joker wannabe that he’ll be for the rest of this film.

 That Batman is one hell of an aim with the grappling gun. He got that vault exactly where it was originally removed from the bank!

 I doubt Batman could have survived a fall from that far into the water. Oh well….

 I’m a little uncomfortable with Edward Nigma’s obsession with Bruce Wayne. Do you think he boss at Wayne Enterprises would allow him to post pictures of the big boss all over his work space? Jim Carey was good as The Riddler though. Over the top, but good nonetheless.

 OK, I hate the brain waves sucking machine.

 While I think the tunnel between Wayne Enterprises and The Batcave is sorta cool, how in the hell would Bruce been able to have that built.

 OK, we get it. Dr. Chase Meridian has the hots for Batman.

  Sign of the times: “The Batsignal is not a beeper.” A beeper. How 1990s.

 “It’s the car right? Chicks love the car.” I sorta laughed when I first heard Batman say this, but it’s still dumb and something he wouldn’t say.

 “Caffeine will KILL YA!” Now that’s a pretty good line when paired with the fact that Nigma’s just whacked the boss over the head with a coffee pot.

 Sorry, I don’t see Batman ever showing up in a courtroom. Was he there simply as a spectator? Please. If he knew that Maroni was going to attack Harvey Dent, wouldn’t he have simply warned him beforehand?

 Wouldn’t they have found Fred Stickly’s dead body tied up in a chair? But the security video shows him simply jumping out of the window. Come on Gordon, do some detective work here!

 That Dr. Meridian sure has one hell of an office at Gotham Police HQ!

 So Bruce sees a bat in Dr. Meridian’s rorschach wall hanging. “The question is, do you have a thing for bats Mr. Wayne.” Don’t you think that the good Dr. could maybe start putting two and two together here?

  The circus. I thought the whole “Grayson Murders” thing was done pretty well -- except for Cackling Harvey showing up.

 I know it was probably loud in there, but how in the hell did NO ONE hear Bruce yell out that he’s Batman? Come on now!

 Even though he was too old to be “Robin,” Chris O’Donnell was pretty good in FOREVER (and won’t get into his annoying Robin in B&R…yet.).

 OK, big mistake on the part of Schumacher. We’re getting Bruce’s flashbacks/repressed memories -- otherwise known as the “Red Book Subplot.” But it’s unresolved and a HUGE mistake on the part of the filmmakers. It should have been the core of the film, but it was half-assed and in the end, played no part in the film as it should have.

 OK, big chase scene between Batman in the Batmobile and Two Face and his goons. Dumb -- especially the Batmobile going up the wall. OK, how is it going to get down from there?

 Two Face’s lair -- dumb. Sugar and Spice -- dumb.

  The Riddler. I guess that Nygma simply pulled the costume off of that arcade game dummy.

  What’s up with The Riddler’s hair? Now he’s sporting a red flattop. Were in Gotham did he go to get that ‘do? Bad…BAD wig.

 I swear, Mr. Jones’ acting ability and the Two Face character was WASTED(!!!) in this film!

 “Oh segregated one.” Nice.

 See, now they did this one right. “Heads we accept, tails, we blow your damn head off!”

 The “Master Dick” cleaning up after himself scene…dumb.

 “Hey Two Face, teach me how to punch a guy!” Grrrr!

 Good God this film is SO 90s!

 The riddles are damn good.

 Dick Grayson finding the Batcave was cool, sorry.

 “The Box” = idiotic. And that shot of The Riddler and Two Face sticking it to their head makes me want to “puch a guy.”

  I'm not the biggest fan of Robin, but I think the character was done right in the film…more or less. ;)

 So, there’s no security in The Batcave to keep Grayson from taking off in the Batmobile? Please!

  Nice scene between Chase and Bruce. Again, shows us how the whole “Red Book” storyline was F’ed.

 Even though Kilmer is sporting a semi-mullet (as was I back then, heheheheh), I still liked him as Batman and Bruce. Wooden, but I liked him nonetheless.

  “No sir, the other car” was pretty cool -- even though there is NO WAY IN HELL that could have happened.

 That neon gang is absolutely ludicrous!

 “If Bruce Wayne could have given his life for your family, he would have.” LOVE THAT SCENE.

 That Val Kilmer really does have a great voice.

 The confrontation between Bruce and Dick in the Cave -- very damn good. Man, there’s a lot of good in this film that was overcome by crap.

 I know it’s the late Bob Kane’s wife, but “Gossip Gerty” was obnoxious.

 “How’s my mole?” Clever line. *rolls eyes* We get it -- Nigma is obsessed with Bruce Wayne.

 Why in the hell would Chase dance like an idiot with Nigma?

 So, no friction burns for Bruce doing down the ladder?

 “My place, midnight.” Geez. How horny is this chick?

 “Why can’t you just DIE?!” Sorry, like it. And The Kilmer-Batman looks pissed!

 Still not fan of Robin, but I do like it when he saves The Batman.

 “What’s a good sidekick name?” *rolls eyes*

 How absolutely dumb is that smile on Batman's face as he leaves Chase's apartment?

 So Dick grabs up his Robin suit and leaves. Fine. Where the hell is he going?

 Why in the hell does Bruce have to tell Chase that he’s Batman?!

 OK, here’s the “conclusion” of the Red Book storyline. Man, the more I see of that, the more I get pissed at this movie.

 How in the HELL would The Riddler’s cane allow him into The Batcave? It wouldn’t -- unless you need a convenient plot device.

 Two Face flipping his coin over and over again to get the desired outcome IS STUPID AS HELL!!! Did anyone read up on this character and his motivation?!

 “Joy-gasim!” *rolls eyes*

 Now we’re at the point where Bruce is supposed to have amnesia. But that was completely eliminated from the story.

 “The prototype with the sonar modifications.” I’ll admit at the time, I loved that suit. But now I’m like…not.

 So, Dick ran away, took his motorcycle, and now has showed up back at the Cave in a crazy-ass Robin suit made by Alfred? Yeah right.

 Gordon: “Go! Go!” Sheesh.

 “Batman Battleship” played by Two Face and The Riddler. AHHHHHHHH!

 I have to admit that I do like the “Holy rusted metal Batman!” scene. It reminded me of the scene in SUPERMAN: THE MOVIE where Clark looks at that 70’ish phone booth.

 The Riddler’s costume and hair in the finale is absurd.

 Despite the fact that I don’t like this particular portrayal of The Ridder, Jim Carry was pretty good. Tommy Lee Jones’ Two Face was crap. Again, what a waste.

 More stupidity -- the whole Robin & Chase falling down the tube climax.

 Why in the hell would Batman throwing coins at Two Face? To kill him for Robin? More bad stuff for this film.

 Arkham Asylum looks good, but the ending was WAY too convenient.

 “Dr. Burton?” Ok, I get the nod to Tim there.

 So Bruce has the girl, Dick’s parents have been avenged, and Alfred is happy. At least he is!

 Nice homage to the 60s TV show with Batman and Robin running.

 Now, I do like the U2 song at the end. Best song in any BATMAN? I say yes.

So there you have it, my blog of BATMAN FOREVER. Sounds like I don't like it, doesn't it? I do, but it's just a VERY disappointing Bat-Film when you think about what could have been.

What if they hadn’t cut the scenes which they, well, cut? What if the entire "Red Book" subplot had been done properly?

Oh well, what's done is done. Truth be told, it helped eventually lead us to BATMAN BEGINS and THE DARK KNIGHT.

But what a missed opportunity!

"Jett" is the founder of BATMAN ON FILM.

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