My buddy Kevin invited me to come over and watch the new episode of
BATTLESTAR GALACTICA a couple of nights ago. Since the show is definitely not for children, his two little daughters wanted to watch an episode of
JUSTICE LEAGUE before they had to go to bed.
The girls picked out an episode called "The Greatest Story Never Told," which centers on Booster Gold's efforts to save the rest of the League, the world, and probably the universe from the sidelines he's been banished to by Batman.
And as the episode began, I noticed it was written by Andrew Kreisberg, who's been the recipient of all kinds of hell from yours truly for his work on the current CONFIDENTIAL arc: "Do You Understand These Rights?"
As we watched the episode, the girls and their mid-30s dad and honorary uncle couldn't stop laughing. It was funny. It was clever. But it was also packed with big action, heart, and thought. I have a feeling it's on the "best episodes" lists of many JLA fans. It certainly deserves to be. It's certainly on mine.
And I felt bad.
And I wondered if I'd been too hard on Mr. Kreisberg's work on CONFIDENTIAL.
Ever since this four-issue arc began, I've made the point that it takes a pretty memorable Joker story to make an impact these days when the competition includes Heath Ledger's Joker in the second highest grossing film of all time; the critically acclaimed and massively commercially successful JOKER graphic novel by writer Brian Azzarello and artist Lee Bermejo; the Kevin Smith Joker in BATMAN: CACOPHONY; and the Grant Morrison Joker who gives himself a snake tongue with a straight-razor while STILL making more sense than the rest of “BATMAN: R.I.P.” combined.
But after reading the final installment of this story in CONFIDENTIAL #25, I just can't change my mind. The story still feels really lazy and contrived to me, and I'm thrilled it's over.
We ended the last installment with Jim Gordon getting shot by a cop who went crazy after The Joker called his wife from police custody, told her he was her doctor, and urged her to commit suicide immediately because she had a painful, incurable disease. Even though it was entirely made up, she did exactly what The Joker asked without hesitation. (I'd get a second opinion. Especially if the voice on the phone didn't belong to my doctor and I hadn't even had a recent doctor's appointment.)
(And this wasn't the most ridiculous Joker kill. One involved a peanut, another involved a banana peel, and they both happened in a courtroom.)
This issue begins with our cracked cop ambushing an unmarked police van transporting The Joker. Batman shows up at exactly the right place and time to get a big surprise, and the tables turn quickly. Batman is injured badly, and The Joker leaves him there with a promise that they can tussle again when Batman's feeling better. Which is actually a really cool spin on the classic Batman/Joker relationship. It's a fresh spin on the "You complete me" angle. (Which Kreisberg used in a previous issue, by the way, but I digress.)
But then Kreisberg throws it all out the window by having The Joker decide to immediately turn right back around and try to kill Batman anyway, in the midst of jokes about "Grey's Anatomy" and lambada. Not funny.
Batman gets rescued at the last second, of course.
And that's when things go from bad to ridiculous.
SPOILER ALERT!
Okay.
So.
Kreisberg's spin on Arkham is that it used to be a psychiatric hospital that's now being turned into luxury condominiums.
Yeah.
And since Batman and Gordon can't figure out what to do with The Joker, Gordon calls the mayor and tells him to stop the condos and turn Arkham into a facility for dangerous criminals.
Are you kidding me?
Luxury condominiums?
For all the moping Batman has done in this storyline, Bruce and Alfred come across like real jerks at the end. Bruce whines about how he doesn't know what to do about criminals like The Joker. Alfred tells him to drop them off at the Gotham City Police Department and let it be the cops' problem, inspiring Bruce to make a joke about how Batman is the world's richest garbage man.
ARE. YOU. KIDDING. ME?!
Meanwhile, we go back to Arkham and its first -- and currently only -- inmates: The Joker and the cop he turned into a widow and a wacko.
And even though there are NO OTHER INMATES in the asylum, they put these guys in cells right beside each other so that The Joker can torment the cop even further.
And then, for the second issue in a row, the ending is spoiled by the cover.
Terrible. The only reason I buy this book is to write the reviews. That's it. There is no joy in this.
At least Scott McDaniel's unique, dynamic pencils get a better workout this issue.
The next storyline brings King Tut from the 60s BATMAN TV show into comic book continuity. Is that really something the fans are demanding? This is now the only Bat-book that actually features Bruce Wayne as Batman, so I hope it steps up its game soon. We shall see. - John Bierly
