"15 Things That Bugged Me About RISES" - A Rebuttal
Author: Jett
July 26, 2012

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Oh, the hate and nitpicking of THE DARK KNIGHT RISES continues! *wink*

My friend Rick Marshall (@rickmarshall) recently posted an interesting article listing 15 things that bugged him about THE DARK KNIGHT RISES. It’s a good piece and is actually quite humorous -- give it a read. However, I had to chime in and post a rebuttal. Enjoy!

 The GPD’s got crappy detectives
The argument here is that it’s ridiculous that no one in the Gotham Police Force has never put two and two together and figured out that Bruce Wayne is The Batman -- especially when both Bruce Wayne and The Dark Knight basically reappear 8 years later at the same time.

Well for one thing, despite the fact that Chris Nolan went for a “realistic” approach with his Dark Knight Trilogy, they are still comic book movies. Therefore, one must keep that in mind and take a leap of faith when it comes to stuff like this. Plus, there was one GDP officer who did figure it out: John Blake.

Secondly, who is The Batman’s chief ally? The F’n commissioner of the GPD, Jim Gordon! Don’t you think Gordon ran interference when it came to any investigation into the true identity of The Batman?

 Bruce Wayne shut down The Batman over a woman...A WOMAN!
That’s only partially true. Yes, the death of Rachel Dawes had a HUGE psychological affect on Bruce. However, Harvey Dent becoming the murdering Two Face and then dying played a role on The Batman’s retirement too.

Also keep in mind that in Team Nolan’s interpretation of Batman, Bruce never planned on being Batman forever. Hell, he was ready to retire the cape and cowl in THE DARK KNIGHT once he realized that Harvey Dent could be the hero Gotham needed without having to wear a mask. Of course, The Joker threw a monkey wrench into that plan.

In addition, as Bruce tells the hospitalized Gordon, “The Batman was no longer needed. We won.” Granted, Bruce didn’t stop being Batman on his own terms, but the reason and timeframe for the end of The Batman -- until he shook the people of Gotham out of their apathy and made realize their city didn’t belong to the criminals and the corrupt -- did come to pass. You might want to rewatch both BEGINS and THE DARK KNIGHT.

 Alfred would NEVER leave Bruce
Yes Alfred assisted Bruce in both BATMAN BEGINS and THE DARK KNIGHT. However, the reason for Alfred leaving Bruce was made quite clear in RISES. To paraphrase Mr. Pennyworth, “You’re not Batman anymore -- that time has past.” He wanted Bruce to have a LIFE, not to simply EXIST. Hell, he never wanted Bruce to return to Gotham in the first place! He knew he would be killed if he suited up again and took on Bane. The only way to get Bruce to realize this was to provide him with a dramatic example: Leaving him.

 Time is weird in Gotham?
How did Bane take Bruce to his prison halfway across the world and return to Gotham so quickly? How in the hell did Bruce return to Gotham so fast after escaping said prison?

That’s easy to explain…

THE DARK KNIGHT RISES takes place over the course of several months and probably for an entire year, give or take. There’s plenty of time for those two travel away and back to Gotham in a realistic amount of time, even though it’s not shown or explicitly stated in the film. Remember who Bane really working with? And regarding Bruce’s return specifically, you don’t think Bruce Wayne wouldn’t be prepared to return to Gotham quickly from anywhere in the world? Come on!

As far as the cops stuck under the city, they kept sending in supplies!

 A punch in the back is all it took to heal Bruce?!
Again, this is a comic book movie and one must take a few leaps of faith -- something that haters just don't want to do with this film.

While Bane “breaking” Batman was very much an homage to KNIGHTFALL, he clearly didn’t break his back or sever his spinal cord. He had a vertebrae slightly out of place causing a tremendous amount of pain, and was then fixed by the prison doctor -- via a surrogate, of course.

 Bane’s plan
Bane didn’t have a clear plan? Please! It was made clear in the finale: He was there to destroy the city along with Talia and finish what Ra’s Al Ghul had started. Giving Gotham “back to the people” was nothing more than a ruse. He wanted to give the people of Gotham “false hope” and then experience “utter despair.” The speeches he gave at both Gotham Rogues Stadium and outside Blackgate Prison were nothing but BS.

 Bane’s mask is the key to defeating him
So in other media incarnations of Batman, he’s never defeated Bane by severing his supply of venom? The pain-killing gas in RISES was this version of Bane’s “venom.” Plus, Batman got his ass handed to him totally in his first encounter with Bane. In the rematch, it was the other way around -- even before Bane’s mask was compromised.

 The Batpod’s easy to ride
Clearly, in real life, The Batpod takes an expert stunt driver to operate. But again, this isn’t real life and it appears to me it can be controlled by anyone with a motorcycle background. Thus, that’s obviously the case when Selina climbs aboard. Remember what she tells Batman as he quickly tells her how to navigate it? “I’ve GOT it.”

Lest we forget, Jim Gordon drove The Tumbler without any problem in BATMAN BEGINS.

 Talia and the knife
We NEVER saw the size of the blade. Plus, Batman wears chain mail UNDER his armor! It’s easy for me to believe that any injury he received was not that serious. She attacked The Batman in full combat attire -- not Bruce Wayne dressed in an Armani suit!

 About that nuclear bomb and it’s 6 mile radius
Well, my esteemed colleague already has conceded and provided the #1 reason Batman was able to survive the blast: HE’S THE GODDMAN BATMAN! However…

Perhaps he ejected WAY before he got over the water. The Tumber was designed with an escape mechanism: The Batpod. Is it hard to believe that The Bat didn’t include one as well? Even one that would be able to survive even a nuclear blast? I can buy that because Bruce Wayne is prepared for ANYTHING and EVERYTHING and…


 Bane’s voice
Oh come on...that complaint is SO 7 months ago. It sounded cool and you could understand him. Enough!

 RISES is an 80’s action movie
Oh please! We’re grasping at straws here and trying to be funny. OK, it was funny, but this criticism still doesn’t hold any water.

It’s not like John Blake didn’t serve the same role to Bruce/Batman in the film as Robin does in the comics. Did anyone really think Chris Nolan would have his Batman team up with a 13 year old kid in a red, yellow and green pixie suit?! I thought it was a rather clever way of having “Robin” included in the trilogy.

 The “Big Twist“ was NOT…
Bane being nothing more than Talia’s henchman!

First of all, he wasn’t -- he was her F'n partner! He was her protector when she was a child and later a member of the League of Shadows -- a member of the LOS so extreme that he was excommunicated by Ra’s Al Ghul. Clearly the two had been in cahoots together for YEARS and was probably #2 in command of the LOS after Talia. All of this harkens back to BATMAN BEGINS. “Miranda Tate” was actually Talia Al Ghul the same as “Ducard” was really “Ra’s Al Ghul.”

And the “Big Twist” was actually Bruce being alive and getting a “happy ending.” Which of course leads back to the bomb and it’s 6 mile blast. Nolan wanted everyone to think Bruce was dead to make his reveal at the end, alive and well and hooked up with Selina Kyle, more powerful.

So there you have it, an explanation for Mr. Marshall’s issue with THE DARK KNIGHT RISES. To be honest, there’s a lot of tongue and cheek in Rick’s article and I got that. However, this film seems to be getting A LOT of hate and is being nitpicked to death. Jesus people, it’s an F’n MOVIE. One based on a COMIC BOOK at that! We can pick apart just about every film if we choose to do so -- especially those based on fantasy, scifi, or comic books. Oh well, to each his own. - Bill "Jett" Ramey

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